Codename: One Who Saves - Part 3

The Balancing Act made Live

Truly coming to an understanding of self, I knew what it was that made me feel like I had a purpose, and that I was making people's lives easier, better, or simply adding some kind of value. It was the only thing I was probably good at... even if there was not any emotional connection between me and the person, I was almost compelled to help those less fortunate than myself. It was so bad that my Mother would sometimes call me a "Good Friday Bobolee" it's a 'Trinidadian' slang for a pushover, but she would, most of the time praise me for my good heart.

The fact that I knew how to add value, although a power perceived only for good, I did at times use it to my advantage. "How so?" people may ask, after all I'm helping people. Well in terms of females I would usually offer myself in the same mannerisms of friendship and, while I would be there for them, help them, and attempt to be their "knight in shining armour" I was just getting them to like me. This technique would have been used on multiple girls at a time, and at times I would find myself in a race against my own pride. I became so cocky that I honestly believed, that with my system, I could get any girl to like me. Bear in mind that I am 12 years old coming to this conclusion.

However, when crossed into teenage years, I started to wonder why it is that my system would work. It was then I started to become obsessed with the mind and how people thought. But in my mind, the only way that this could happen is if I expose myself to as much personalities as I could; already being a person with a sense of humour, and fairly unemotional I was able to get into many different roles and not get attached to any single personality. I was having a blast, I was able to identify with anyone, older girls were amazed at how mature I was, hard-to-get girls were amazed at how I ignored them, heart-broken girls were amazed at how nice I was and the list goes on. A lot of guys didn't like me...BUT who cared?

Of course this "talent" came with a price. The price: I had no idea who I truly was for a moment. I would, almost every time, look in the mirror and have no idea who I was staring at. This was not in a manner of my emotions being conflicted. But I allowed myself to be so faceless that I would ask, Who are you? to the mirror.

Luckily, I was able to return to myself, however, traces of this power were left in my mind and would manifest on a later date.

As the months went by I started to seriously question who I was and what I stood for. Some bad things began to happen in my immediate environment. Violence, selfishness and death. I thought "Are my actions causing this?" How could it? Am I a bad person - It can't be.

Then I met her (whose name I shall not mention). What did she offer me? Love - Maybe, Pleasure - Surely, Religion - Somewhat, Torture - Absolutely, but Awakening - Definitely.

With her I understood that the reason I had lost myself - was mainly because, my environment dictated my personality. Now this is something we see everyday, but how many of us are truly aware of it?

From here, my life's digression is complete... I would, throughout my entire journey, always comeback to my centre which is helping people, trying to save the world, trying to make a difference.

I was happiest when I would make, someone smile... and that, to me, was obvious.

I ended up finding the path that I must follow, and yes knowing the path is different from walking it. The road is tough and although this blog series was a bit more personal that even I would like, I thought it would be necessary to know (a summary of) where I've been to know why I'm going, where I'm going.

I do stray at times, not drastically, but nevertheless my morals are deeper and more basic than most would like to imagine. And all things survives on the basics - it's the foundation that counts.

So Back on track after my personal recap... But on my next Blog (not post but blog) I'll be a bit more personal in terms of my writing and expand on my story. And with that I now return to the journey...

until next time:

Change the world
Change thyself

Codename: One Who Saves - Part 2

The Systemic Inequality

In the Matrix Trilogy many things were said and hinted (most of which were missed by the general public) that relates DIRECTLY to our current state of affairs. For instance "Love is just a word, what matters is the connection" or "Choice is an illusion created between those with power and those without" how about "Almost 99% of all test subjects accepted the program as long as they were given a choice even if they were only aware of it on a subconscious level" and "It is not unexpected and thus, not beyond a measure of control" (or something like that) and my favourite "There's a difference between knowing the path and walking the path"

Ever since I was young I dreamt of being a superhero, with some sort of cool power. Like possibly every child, I always pretended to have some super power, and although I came to some realistic conclusions very early in life, or as some would say "I grew up too fast", up to today I still strive for some power to make a difference in this world. I still in the cover of private time pretend to have super powers. My imagination runs away with my attention taking me to a place where my purpose is to do the ultimate good, even if it means paying the ultimate price. I do it willingly, knowing that I would change the world for the better.


This world of mine while full of danger, woes are always outweighed by the wonder and the potential of its inhabitants. Of course I would be one of the chosen few who make a difference. My journeys are most times never lonely ones. I would always have friends who can also do amazing things, and though the road is hard and sacrifices are made we would always come together to get the job done.


My friends in the real world would probably never have noticed my efforts to unite them, or to show them that together we can make a difference in the world. Ultimately they would probably just shove it off as my regular rhetoric. Eventually I was immersed in this "other world". I would write stories about it, I would speak of it only to a small select few, and I would in every way try to manifest is in the real world. Unfortunately my environment would never give me the encouragement I needed to realise my dreams. For the parties, the alcohol, the promiscuity, the gossip, the segregation of the fashion world, the violent or sexual forms of music and the definition of cool contained no honour, no compassion, no logic and morally grey principles at best.

While I have done my share or partying which is, in comparison to most people, a little bit, I have left each party wondering: "What is the point of all this? Fun..no. I can have fun in many other ways. Does this make me a better person? Certainly not... with all of the violent messages in the music and the objectification of women, when the DJ's bring them on stage to perform lewd dancing which was dually praised by simply having the ability to turn your head and waist at the same time and to perform a split. What skill." These questions and the subsequent feelings would create a systemic anomaly - i.e. affecting each and every inch of my entire being from spirit to body, causing me to resent the social world. Although my behaviour towards may be deemed unnecessary and erratic my most, it was not unexpected by myself and thus, not beyond a measure of control.


I began to hate the world. The utter blindness of the general public. Oblivious to the fact that the superficial have become the paramount of priority, and that any from of understanding was thrown out the window by virtue of "how it looked". I started to feel as if I didn't belong, I prayed at night that God would take me away from this place and put me into my dream world, a place where people united against evil and fought for what was right. Yet even though this planet extracted from me at this hour only contempt... still I would have given anything to save it.
To Be Continued...

Codename: One Who Saves - Part 1

Before I get into my old ballyhoo, let me first mention what probably the global population is buzzing about: President Elect Barack Obama. Who, as I have developed an acronym for (Black And Ready 'to do some' Ass Kicking), will most likely bring change to his country and by extension the world. I thought that I would have praised the victorious future president of the U.S. because he was black and he made history by becoming the first black president of America. However, when I saw the entire world, whether black, white, yellow, brown, all rejoice, speaking of hope and change, my congratulations must extend far beyond and much deeper than that of a superficial reason as his skin colour. He truly has rekindled hope for those who probably lost it about four years ago or possibly eight years ago. He will face the toughest of circumstances, but you know what... when has anything great come easy? He will be A New Hope. I won't comment on the ignorant minority who would have called him terrorist, Arab and any other uneducated label they would put on this man but I will say this that for a terrorist - he sure has the world united in celebration and if the world's united who is there to fight? PEACE!


Now to the point of this post:
On every man's journey he is faced with many questions and probably the answers come tenfold. Then the hardest question comes... What do I believe? Is it selfish to say "I believe that which benefits me" or how about "I believe that which I see". The questions come at you rapidly and relentlessly forcing even the most grounded person to question their own judgment, trapping themselves into the battle of right and wrong. But what is right and wrong? Is it a defined set of rules? Is it a code to keep the masses in check? Is it relative where one man's terrorist is another man's hero?

Well here's what I have come to understand on my journey-- the only thing of any meaningful measure is the spirit of things. You hear it all the time "Team Spirit", "A Joyful Spirit", "He/She has a good spirit". Spirit and Truth.

I digress slightly
Don't get me wrong when i say I understand the Atheist at times. Why because with so many religions, so many "Gods" and each saying "the other is wrong" it is sometimes easy to come to the conclusion that the idea of "God" is simply a man made system of control; and that right and wrong are simply principles based on the culture or the time in which it is defined. Simply Put: Old Testament: An Eye for an Eye - New testament: Turn the Other cheek.

But to Spirit and Truth:

If you believe in a higher power or an all mighty source of energy that powers us all, then you should know that the worldly does not lead you to the real truth. Spirit and truth, your REAL intention is not something that may be assimilated by a human but know this, all energy that is given is returned and it is returned to you multiplied. (If you plant one orange seed, you don't get one orange now do you?). This is the fundamental belief that ALL religions carry: Karma, Reincarnation, The Golden rule, The noble Eight-Fold path, the Secret All speak of your intention being returned to you by the Universe. No matter who you are you should at least believe that.




Einstein said that "We were wrong. Nothing is composed of matter but it is all energy" or something like that. So what of all the questions I mentioned above-- simple: I say believe in what has been taught but what you have LEARNED. It is said by the Buddhist sect that God is within us and it is there that you will find truth. So take time to connect with yourself and let that supreme energy of the universe (of whatever your religion) enter into your Spirit, Mind, Heart and Body.

To Be Continued...

Change the World
Change Thyself

The Way Forward

Along with mine, I'm sure there will be millions of Bloggers writing about the U.S. (Paramount) Presidential Election; and thousands of others just like me who would say that there will be millions of Bloggers writing about the election. Like most of the earth's population, I've watched the news, read the reviews, listened to the point of views and after all that... I still am not interested in politics. However, from what I understand I urge people to recognise this: No candidate is perfect and nothing is written in stone. Maybe the policies promised today can't be implemented tomorrow, so no choice can be absolutely "clear"; and fundamentally think not of the "President" that you put in the white house but consider the "person". After seeing the rallies, the reports, and the interviews I think the choice is a little easier to make. Put aside all racism, all the resent from the primaries, and look at the now and possibly the next. That's my two cents.

Now for the point of this post:
As the journey begins, I might have overlooked one minor detail: as I know where to go, how do I move forward? Further more if I am to follow a particular way, shouldn't I go wayward? All these questions usually create doubt more than anything. However, I have learned to love the question, because believe it or not "There is no question without an answer". Thus, the saying "the greatest risk is taking no risks at all" comes perfectly into play. Now all of these things we already know and is already there - and for those who do not know it is waiting for us.



Taking the first step requires faith - the invisible source of courage, the almost unfathomable method to madness, the most subtle proof, the paramount of prerequisites. People may call it ignorance, unrealisable, a spurious claim; they will say that your dreams have no place in reality, or that you cannot escape from it (whatever it is you choose to change), and you will be laughed at believe me, if it's not in your face it'll be behind your back. But even the likes of them are necessary, for if you can't recognise the antagonist, how can you recognise the ally?

Finally, remember to stay grounded in your beliefs, changing only for your own benefit and the sake of common good. When you're going nowhere any road will take you there. So stay focused, remember to believe, have courage, and try not to get in your own way too much.


Change the World
Change thyself

The Journey Begins

Four walls surround me, I sit upon padded comfort - artificial yet comfortable - a luminescent window holds my attention. A window I call "The Gate of no Gates". It holds my dreams, my imagination, my newly attained grain of spiritual sand or other words I have heard that I can regurgitate to describe it. But in my own words, I have finally, in this self proclaimed temple of mine i call a room, with no one but me and my I-self to guide me and the source of all energy driving my spirit (Place whatever higher power is appropriate for you) , I have found it... The most illusive of all human desires - and of all wishes - even of all answers we seek, "What path do i take?" "Where must I go?" I now know. In short, I have come a long way to get to this point and so, that chapter is now closed; but as one tale ends...Another begins.

To the ones that read this, thank you for joining me
as I follow the way of the warrior on my path
The P.A.R.A.L.E.L. path

Change the World
Change thyself